Thursday – I knew I needed to fill my VISA application in. But, I didn’t really feel the urgency to complete it, because I didn’t have the funds to pay for it, and didn’t have all the necessary aspects that would make a strong case for the acceptance of a VISA. I was feeling super discouraged and apathetic. I had been full of faith and hope for a while, but man it can get very difficult to “keep the faith” when the breakthrough just ain’t breaking through. And God just said “Fill your VISA in. Don’t worry about the details of funding. (Because that’s been an obstacle too – Proving that I’ll be financially stable once in Sydney. Even though I know I will be. Because God). Just fill it in like you’re going to submit it. Encourage yourself again. Position yourself in a place of overcoming again. Despite what it looks like, don’t forget to be grateful!” And so I did! Not sure how I’d prove that I have enough money. Because I don’t – in their eyes.
Friday – I got a call from my best friend’s dad offering to donate towards my College expenses.
Monday – I got a PayPal notification stating that one of my friends had contributed towards my GoGetFunding campaign.
The word Hosanna, which comes from the hebrew phrase “hoshiya na”, was often used as a cry for help – “Save me, please.” But over time, the meaning of the word evovled. Instead, it was used as a shout of exultation, gratitude and hope – “Salvation has come”. For months now, I have been studying this word. How could the same word that means ‘Save me’ also mean ‘Salvation is here’? How can I cry out for help and thank Him all in one breath? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been very consistent in praying to God for help. But not very quick to thank Him, in the middle of it. I’ve had the “save, me Jesus” mentality, but it was never evolving and moving forward into a place of gratitude and overcoming.
Crying out for help and salvation often fixes our eyes on us and what we’re going through but as I’ve studied this word, I’ve learnt that gratitude and praise fixes my eyes on God. Always. When I’m grateful to God for everything that He has done, and continues to do, it can only direct my eyes, thoughts and heart towards Him. Because I can’t help but think of His faithfulness, His grace, His love and everything I’ve experienced first hand. And I’d like to believe that’s why ‘Hosanna’ evolved from plea to praise; there was redirection, in focus, from ourselves to God.
And that very place, where my sole focus is God, is a breeding ground for the miraculous. It is a breeding ground for God to be God, and do what only He can do. “Seek first His Kingdom and Righteousness and all these things will be added unto you”. I don’t seek because I need all these things added. I seek, and all these things are added unto me.
A few weeks ago I was blessed with the incredible gift to go to Isreal with my best friend. The very last place we visited on our trip, was what was believed to be Jesus’ tomb. I honestly thought I would cry a river. Be saddened by the thought of it all. I don’t know. But to my surprise, I was filled with an inexpressible joy and gratitude. Because what He had done allowed me to walk in victory even in the middle of my battle. Because what He had done, literally turned my Hosanna, into my Hosanna. Because He endured the cross and what preceded it, so that even my very worst day would never look like that.
So. Even with the kind donations, I still do not have the necessary finances to pay for my VISA, or prove financial stability. But I have the choice to either focus on “I still don’t have enough and I have 2 months left before I should be in Sydney” or with a grateful heart, acknowledge that I’m not in the same place as I was a few days ago.
Save me, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus.
Hosanna in the highest!