“So He said, ‘Come.’ And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.” – Matthew 14:29
A week before I left for Sydney, a potential sponsor turned out to be a scam. A day before I left, a potential sponsor communicated that they were unable to help. So on the day I was leaving, I did not have the finances to get some of the essentials I needed before my depature and had just enough to sustain me for about 2 weeks. Maybe 3.
I remember thinking “Okay what now, God? Do I actually pack my whole life up and get on that plane tomorrow? Or do I wait until everything is in order?” I was honestly still very hopeful, but it was the uncertainty of what was to come that made me very uneasy. I caught myself constantly wondering if I had heard God correctly. What if this was not what He had said, and I had been caught up in the excitement of everything coming together? What had I actually gotten myself into?
So on Saturday evening, I hopped on a plane to Sydney and even got upgraded to Business Class on one of my flights! – I will admit, I was a little tempted to say to God, “Thank you so much for the upgrade, but You can actually take me back to economy and put the upgrade difference in my account.” But I was reminded that God is in the business of the miraculous. The unexpected. And He can do anything and probably will.
I was reminded that He’ll still split seas for me.
This week, I got an email saying I was already behind on rent. But, I knew I only had enough money to cover my groceries and a few other necessities. So alongside all the prayer and petition, I went to speak to my core trainer to find out what my options were. After discussing some of the implications that could come with falling behind on payments, I absolutely wrestled to stay encouraged. – I may not be allowed to attend classes. At the College that wasn’t my idea to go to? I could lose my VISA. The same one that took all kinds of miracles to get? Did I travel all this way, only for me to go back home less than a month later?
Why would He tell me not to work these last 6 months if this is what it would ending up looking like? Why wasn’t that bursary real? Why would He bring me all the way here so that I could struggle in isolation? Why am I even here? – It’s one thing to have faith in the convenience of South Africa, with family and friends. It’s another thing when you’re all alone in an entirely new country. New College. New environment.
In the “Moments: Mighty Sound” version of “In Over my Head”, Jenn Johnson sings the following:
Further and further
My heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like
Whatever may come I am yours
Honestly speaking, it’s been relatively easy to step out in faith over the past few months. Because I was still in the boat. I was still home. And I still had the option for it not to work out.
“But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me!’ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'” – Matthew 14:30-31
Peter was always going to be able to walk on water, not because he could, but because Jesus would make it possible. Whether he would, was up to him.
He asked Jesus to command him to come and meet Him out in the water to prove that it really was Jesus walking on the water. Jesus replies by saying ‘Come’. Both Peter and Jesus use the word ‘come’, but the meaning of the word “come” that Jesus uses is significantly different. In Greek, one of the words used to describe the root of that word, is “grow”.
Peter simply asked God to call Him out into the sea. Jesus called Him out; to grow.
Stepping out of the boat isn’t glamorous. It’s inconvenient. It isn’t enjoyable. It’s stretching. It’ll probably not look the way you hope it will.
But even so, come.